22 Habits to Give Up + Cultivate More Self-Love
Wanna cultivate more self-love? Try giving up these 22 habits into your lifestyle!
Let go of people who you cannot share good news with! Think about how quickly our parade can get rained on when we share something with somebody who is not in a state to receive our win. Instead of wishing that they would change, remove the expectation for them to celebrate with you.
A subpar living situation. Rearrange your living situation to be your dream living. For many people, traveling isn’t a realistic option right now. But until it is, what’s something that can be added to or removed from your space to make it feel renovated, luxurious, or more YOU? Or perhaps it’s time to move away altogether (that’s my solution, at the time of me writing this!)
A bad habit or a ritual. Find one ritual throughout the day that you can change. Everything the way we do it is a ritual. The way we get ready for the morning, the way we work, the way we set boundaries, blah blah blah. What’s one thing you could change that would make your day feel more exciting. Cooking in the AM? Starting work an hour earlier and then finishing an hour earlier?
Giving others your advice before you use your own advice. We tend to think we can fix others before we fix ourselves, but it’s actually the other way around.
Feeling guilty for putting your needs first. Yeah…no–let’s make this the year we unlearn this.
Excessively working/ not taking off time from work. Sometimes we do it because we need the extra coins, and sometimes we do it because we’re avoiding something, we have nothing else better to do, or we tie our self-worth to our work. Take off time and enjoy more of this year (this is something I’m currently working on myself).
Giving a reason why you don’t want to do something. When we go into the reasoning, it’s sort of like apologizing or trying to prevent someone from being mad at you. Sometimes, people will get mad at you for your decision no matter what, and you have to be OK with that.
8. Constantly saving pleasure or fun stuff for the future. Why wait until your birthday to celebrate you? Smell that new candle now or wear that outfit. Try a new color for your hair or nails. You don’t ever need a reason or to wait until the future, you’re worth it now.
9. Repeating your point again and again. Some people can meet you as deeply as they've met themselves–and repeating the point until they “get it” will only drive you insane. Show better than tell.
10. Beating yourself up for not being able to complete your long to-do list. Girl, it’s too long. Cut it in half. We live in a society that expects us to do it all in 24 hours, and then we feel so bad when we get behind. Prioritize, delegate, and decide what should go on your to-don’t list.
11. Using apps that don’t make you feel better about life. I’ve been limiting my time spent on social media because of the negativity and because it’s a time sucker. I’m not saying that social media is all that bad, I just don’t spend hours and hours a day on it. I use other apps that feed my mind and soul like “Insight Timer” for meditation and “I am” for positive affirmations throughout the day.
12. Waiting for others to join you on something before you do it. If we constantly wait for others to go to the gym with us, go out to eat, read a new book, we’ll keep having someone else to blame for why we couldn’t do what we want to do. Do it, and watch them follow suit.
13. Excessive worrying. Worrying is where you have the least amount of faith in yourself, God, the Universe, etc. Instead at that moment, try sending someone else love. Or even better, yourself.
14. Thinking that you don’t have enough. “I don’t have enough love, money, clothes that fit well, purses that make my outfit look good, an attractive and educated partner. I don’t have enough time, support, friends, creativity, strength, sexiness, etc.” The game of “it’s never enough” keeps us away from receiving more and not appreciating what we have.
15. Pushing yourself to get something done when you really don’t have the energy to do it. Sadly, we don’t get rewards for being strong all the time, love. Can it get done after you rest? After you eat something?
16. Stopping everything to *constantly* emotionally or financially rescue others. Taking on other people’s problems, panic, and permission is a learned behavior that very much can be unlearned too!
17. Looking for instant gratification or short-term rewards in your self-love journey. Sometimes, it does work that way and then it doesn’t. Remember that you’re in the long run for this journey.
18. Being the responsible one all of the time. Your inner child needs to be taken care of too. Honor her for all of the times you’ve dealt with feeling abandoned or disappointed.
19. Blaming other people for your lack of not getting where you want to be. Taking full responsibility puts you in the perfect position to change the situation.
20. Being afraid of your feelings. Your feelings are the gauge of your life. Emotions remind us that we are alive, we are human. As uncomfortable as it may get, it’s a good thing to honor your feelings.
21. Resist the urge to beat up on yourself when things don’t go as planned, you feel stupid for mistakes, or regret what you’ve said or done. You can’t love yourself and hate yourself at the same time–pick the better feeling emotion, always. And if love feels too strong at the moment, what do you like about yourself?
22. When in doubt, tell the whole truth to yourself. The truth about who you love, what you can get done, what you’re not good at, what’s important to you. It’ll give you so much clarity and confidence in being honest with yourself.
“You don’t have to meet certain qualifications to be loved. You do not have to do anything special, in a certain way to get love. The only thing that is ever required of you is to be who you are and feel good about it. Love is not a reward or a prize. Love is not something you can use to trap or be trapped. Love is not even yours to give, nor can it be withheld from you.
Love is the omniscient flow of life. It is every breath you take. It is the involuntary function of the organs, systems, and parts of your body. Love is your skin, your hair, the way you hold your head, the unique way you laugh or cry and move through the world. Your Creator has never asked you for credentials you don’t possess. Anyone who expects more from you than God has a great deal to learn about love.”
A passage about love from a book called “Faith in the Valley.”