Date release: November 10, 2023

On this episode of On a Living Spree podcast, Tori dives deep into some personal experiences and lessons learned in her journey as a business owner and entrepreneur. Here's a quick breakdown of what was discussed:

Reflections on a difficult conversation with a client that ultimately strengthened their business relationship and made her a better business owner.
Tori's experience being featured on the Gold Digger podcast, a significant career milestone made complex due to personal circumstances.
A challenging breakup that coincided with her podcast feature, causing conflicting emotions.
Post-recording regrets about not getting to cover all her planned points.
Tori reassures herself of the value she provided by offering free information on marketing and gaining positive responses from the audience.
Tori encourages listeners to create a "Love Notes" folder to keep positive messages for encouragement.

Make sure to listen to the entire episode to get all the details, available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube.

Before I start another episode of On a Living Spree podcast, I just want to thank you so much for listening and just taking out the time to even be listening to marketing, life, and business advice from me and the guest experts that I have on here, who are freaking amazing. Now, this episode will be talking about how to create the ideal day using marketing strategies and how to battle imposter syndrome.
And for those who don't know what imposter syndrome is, it's that feeling of not feeling good enough. It shows up in our business and life in so many ways. So it can be, we're not putting out content because it's not perfect. We don't feel like we're at the right weight that we want to be, or our face may look too chubby, so we don't really show up on zoom or we don't really do video or we may not go to certain events because we are not feeling that confident in how we look or how we speak, or we may have constant anxiety about how other people will you know, one day find out that we are not that smart or that talented as we are. It makes you just feel like you don't deserve to have a seat at your own table that you created in your life.
And I'm here to let you know that everybody deals with imposter syndrome on so many levels and it shows up in so many ways. And I would like to just share a few ways that I've dealt with imposter syndrome and why it's so important for all of us to recognize and to know which ways that we can actually deal with it.
I also think that another caveat to imposter syndrome is that
it may not show up in business at a certain stage and it may not have shown up like when you were barely making money in business, but now that you are making six figures and you're projected to make seven figures in the following fiscal year.
Now you have a bigger audience that's looking at you and now you feel like you have to constantly put out content, but you feel like your content is repetitive. Or it's not valuable. You get what I mean? Like it has its different stages and different cycles. And it's mainly the thoughts that we tell ourselves.
Now I have a different take on imposter syndrome and how I get through it. And it's mainly trying to find ways to create and then actually execute having my ideal day. My ideal day will look like this. Waking up, meditating, praying. I use the insight timer app for meditations. It does have a free version and it also has a paid version if you want to take more courses.
And then I also pray using a Bible app. So I incorporate those two things because it is so important for me to be mindful as a person who has battled with severe depression, anxiety, since I was like freaking 11 years old going to therapy constantly. It is something that I understand deeply that most of my day is a mental battle.
And most of my day, although it feels like the outer world is influencing it, it's a lot of stuff going on in my mind that I'm not even consciously aware of. And I have to start it off with good intentions so that at least when those really tense moments come or microaggressions throughout the day or just family, you know, my nerves, I at least know that I started the day with the right intentions and doing something for myself. So ideally, that's what I want to start my day. And I'm at the point in my life now where life has not stopped being quote unquote busy, but that is a must in my day. And then if I don't do it in the morning, I'm going to do it in the evening.
That's one thing. The next thing is having breakfast, having some type of conversation with someone I feel emotionally safe with. And that could be a friend that can be my partner. A lot of times it's Daya, my assistant who I love so much. It's someone I feel like really comfortable talking.
I would characterize myself as an introvert, but when I started talking, I just can't stop talking about people that I feel really good with and I feel like I can open up and share pieces of my life and also learn from other people. One of the things that I think introverts are really great at is being listeners and not to say the extroverts do not listen because I don't believe that but I do know that we feel a little more shy and reserved to talk about ourselves so a lot of times we were given no choice but to listen right because we're like oh gosh it feels so weird to talk about myself but it does help me kind of think through the next few priorities that I have when I can talk that out with someone and also that someone sometimes includes myself. So that also includes a journaling exercise and in my journaling, it's not just, "today this is what I desire for myself" or "I'm having a bad morning and here's why." Although I think that those type of, expressing yourself is important, I also journal about positive affirmations and especially dealing with imposter syndrome early on and recognizing that that was stopping me from doing a lot of speaking engagements. I tell myself, "I am a great speaker. I have bring a lot of value to people who want to learn more about marketing. I understand copywriting and marketing and I am getting tremendous results for my clients." My clients are making six figures, seven figures based on the different type of psychological factors that copywriting has to deal with. The affirmations also look like telling myself, "I will do the best that I can today, given the resources that I'm given," and the resources could also include emotional capacity, physical capacity, financial capacity, intellectual capacity. Just telling myself that I will do the best I can today, given the resources that I'm given.
Going back to how I start the morning. I lately became an early morning girl. Like I usually wake up between 530 and 6 o'clock on weekdays now and on the weekend about 8 or 9. And it's because I just noticed that I have more of my day and my partner wakes up pretty early. So we just kind of like go to sleep and wake up on the same page and it just helps with actually getting in the self care slash wellness business rituals. So you know, might call them, but yeah, it helps with also, I feel different when I wake up before everybody else wakes up, it makes me feel like I have this secret time that nobody else has access to even though everyone has access to but I find myself talking differently about time and about availability and about what I can realistically get done when I wake up early. And when I wake up early and I actually do stuff like not just scroll on Instagram because I've fallen ill I am now am more disciplined with putting away my phone and being attentional and being present because time is everything that we have and everything that we don't.
Another thing that helps me with imposter syndrome in terms of also going into my day as I talk to people online that has nothing to do with my emotional safety, but just talking about business with other people, it makes me feel like I'm a part of a bigger conversation and I have that type of resources and that type of knowledge and making other people feel seen. Making other people feel seen for some reason helps me feel seen in ways. For example, if I'm talking to someone who's in a writing program that I'm in, and we're talking about how we may have writer's block, and how, but we're really excited at the other day, we were able to get a few newsletters done and we were able to really get ahead of things and feel the momentum in our business again. And just talking about those little wins that in hindsight, it feels like, you conquer the day and not necessarily the year. It definitely, definitely helps.
Another thing that I do when it comes to imposter syndrome and creating the ideal day is making sure that I do some type of marketing and even if it's not comfortable. So lately I haven't been putting in all honesty, a lot of attention into my marketing, but, one of the ways that I can constantly market myself without having to put myself out there when I do not feel like showing up online is creating really strong connections with my clients. So I am really big on celebrating my clients birthdays. I'm really big on telling them about my referral fee and if they can let other people know about me. Then they will get 10 percent of the next services that are rendered. I'm big on making sure that they have some type of strategy plan, should they want to continue with me or should they want to kind of take on the reins of copywriting for themselves. I pour into my existing clients and I make sure that they feel seen and I'm not perfect with it, but in an ideal day, I am finding ways to deeply connect with them, and it makes me feel like a complete expert, literally the exact opposite of an imposter.
Another thing about my day. Ideally, I would love to be the type of person who writes between 1 p. m. and 5 p. m., like do some type of errands, get a walk in, go to the gym on the morning side, watch TV. I love crime and mysteries and things like that. But in the afternoon, I would love to be the type of person who who writes between 1 and 5 p. m. However, most of my days look like writing at night because my brain is just. Like that's just where the creative spark is. But it also makes me feel like I've been working all day long. So and I have accomplished writing between one and five and feeling really good about what I've written before. So just knowing that you have had bits and pieces of your ideal day will help you know that you are on the right track, but it's good to know, like really write out hour by hour, how would you want that to look? And also thinking about how can you incorporate marketing into your business since we are business owners.
Another thing for people who may not feel really ready around this time of the year to put a lot into marketing, understand that you can only move as fast as your mind can do when it comes to marketing, especially with imposter syndrome and your journey and your business, it can't go as fast as your journey in life.
For example, if someone who is going through some type of severe personal grief, it's going to be really hard to get up and do dances on TikTok. I feel like that's always my thing. I say dances on TikTok, but it really is. It's just going to like, let's just be for real about it. It's going to be really hard for someone who is a new parent struggling to really create that connection and understand their child and try to understand them and then also turn around and crank out four or five social media posts and, you know, figure out what to talk about.
So in those moments of grief, I want you to know, well, I've been told this before and I am blanking on who exactly said this, but grief is love that has no place to go. And in those moments, you really need to allow yourself to feel that way and have some type of, you know, whether it's going back to that emotional safety, have someone around you, whether it's a peer or a family or best friend or supportive partner, let them kind of reflect back to you.
Do you need to take a pause in your business? What would this pause look like? And although we can never really put a timeline on how long we can grieve something, I do think we should have some type of expectation of when we can jump back into business. You know, like, with asterisks beside it. It's not set in stone, but something that you know, like, I need a good six weeks to revisit launching this course, something as clear as that, because now you have let that part of feeling guilty that burnout and exhaustion about this course subside while you take care of your mental health.
And I think also chunking stuff down. I think that one of the reasons why we constantly hit imposter syndrome and we sometimes may not feel the progression as we see our peers going through making million dollars in their third year business is that we want to do a million things at one time, our to do list keeps getting longer and longer and longer. Chunking down, maybe in six weeks, you may not have that course fully fleshed out. But in six weeks you may have an outline and you may have what each part of the course will be about and how it would help your client get the exact result that they need in their life or business. Maybe in six weeks you've met a few people who can help you promote the course and tell it to their audience.
Maybe in six weeks you might commit to getting on one podcast that talks about your course to a defined audience that is primed and ready to buy from you. Chunking stuff down is not a new term or a new productivity hack, but I think it's something that we totally forget because there was some type of mind switch in my opinion, here goes my, you know, spiritual stuff, but there was some type of mind switch when the pandemic happened where a lot of the world in terms of productivity and business and nine to five careers slowed down because there was a global health crisis and when that global health crisis seemed to subside a little bit and not be, I don't want to say it as if COVID has gone away, right? But like, because it hasn't, but there are treatments for it, and people are taking more precautions.
So since those things have happened, it seems like the world has become busier. It's like, well, we lost a few years of revenue. So now we need to do twice as work. And even if you're not in a corporate industry, or even if you don't really feel like you have a full time business yet with full time employees, everyone is feeling this sense of burnout. And I think that in those moments, it is going to a hundred percent make us feel like we're an imposter. Because if we can't even do the simple six or seven tasks in our business, because we're always being there for our clients, how can we feel like an expert? How can we show up when we're not even taking out time to really learn the courses that we just paid all this money for because we're too busy for them. So I do think that this is a reminder to really chunk stuff down and give yourself that space and that grace to not have it all figured out, but know that these are realistically things that you can do each day.
And finally, I would say in my evening times of my ideal day, is to do nothing, to have a great dinner, maybe it's a salad from my favorite salad place called Sweet Greens. Maybe it's a steak, maybe it's fried fish. Whatever. I really love to make steak fried fish and spaghetti by the way.
Those are like my three favorite things right now to cook, but whatever it is, if I'm cooking and with pleasure where I'm actually enjoying cutting up stuff, which I can't stand. I'm one of those people who are like, really, if it takes me more than 30 minutes to figure out how to put all these ingredients together, I'm like, going to run out and get food, but lately I've stopped doing that because in my ideal date, I don't want to do that. I want to have food that nourishes me and it feels like yay, like, "I did this" type thing at the end of the day.
And I'm really decompressing. I'm watching TV. I'm having some other type of connection time, whether it be with someone else or myself. And I feel like, wow, I did all these things in one day, and I feel good about that. And I'll be the first to say that I rarely say that. And when I do, I forget about it. I forget about it a lot, but I want to stop and just say that I don't know you that well, but I can imagine that in this day and age, you do a lot in a day.
And those days that you don't do a lot, It may feel guilty. It may even feel like you can't really rest, but I will tell you that you are not alone in feeling that way. And I also will tell you that there are lots of resources to help with being able to rise, being able to make great decisions in your business and life. Being able to find supportive groups so that you don't feel like an imposter. You can do marketing that feels aligned with you and intentional and also moves the needle in your business.
I did take the course B school a few years ago. And I think by the time I took the course, I was not at a beginner stage anymore. And it felt very beginner stage, not to say that it's not a great course. I just didn't really need it as much as I thought I did. But there was one part of Marie Forleo's B school where she talked about marketing and she talks about the acronym that she has ABM, which is Always Be Marketing. And it took a few years for that to kick in, but yeah. There are so many ways that you can always find to always be marketing. And like I said, imposter syndrome may go away, but it may come up at a different stage, but as long as you recognize that it's really a mental game and nobody's ever going to just pull the curtain out and say, "you are not a great dietitian. You are not a great teacher." I mean, if that does happen, then I mean, consider the source. That's what my therapist always says. Like, why take advice from someone who really doesn't know what they're talking about? Um, and also criticism.
Imposter syndrome and criticism can kind of go hand in hand because it's inevitable that we cannot please everybody. So if you had a client and they were not impressed by the results working with you, it can be a shot to our ego. It can go into that inner core of feeling rejected and, um, not good enough. It can feed those negative thoughts, but I just want you to know that there's so much power in having those moments and the power is what you do with those moments.
So if that ever has happened to you, or if you are afraid of that happening to you, I want you to know that everyone unintentionally disappoints someone, and we have been unintentionally disappointed by people who really did not mean to do that. Um, I mean some people, but I'm talking about like genuinely, you know, missing something that was very important to you and they just lost track of time. Some people really don't, you know, have those ill intentions towards you. But even when they're not like completely enthused with working with you that can set you up for a great conversation. And a lot of times when people are let down disappointed in those type of scenarios and I've had that type of conversation, it actually made the project, the communication better and me a better business owner and a better copywriter.
Earlier this year. As in 2023, I was featured on the Goal Digger podcast, and that had to be like a big high point in my business and my journey as an entrepreneur, because that was the podcast that I was listening to while I was working at a nine to five that I couldn't stand, in the tech industry. I was listening to that every single day learning about how to run a successful business. And I utilize a lot of those strategies that Jenna Kutcher talked about. So it was a surreal moment to be on that podcast and to be giving marketing strategies. It still feels so funny to say to this day, but I will tell you that I had big imposter syndrome for a couple of reasons.
The first one was, during the beginning of this year, I was going through a super tough breakup. With a person who was not happy about me running a business and oftentimes made me feel like I had to choose between him and the business. And so, although this was like such a big pivotal moment in my career, I didn't really feel like I could be happy about it. And I wish that I took more time to really let it sink in and had done more planning ahead. And I did as much as I could, and I did a great job with the turnout on in my opinion, but I did let my personal life with the impending breakup, because I didn't, we didn't quite like break up at the time of the podcast, but it just felt like it was about to happen.
And so I did feel like not as great about myself around the time. Another thing is I had so many points written out about copywriting and marketing. And I kind of beat myself up after the recording of the episode because I didn't even get to say half of it. And it actually had nothing to do with the cadence and flow of Jenna Kutcher by the way, really, I'm not just saying that. It's just that the time went by so fast. That's all it was. It just was like the time went by so fast and I just felt like I spent a lot of time talking about myself and my journey as a self love coach to then, a copywriter slash marketing strategist and not as much time giving valuable tips.
However, I worked through that because I given lots of free information on marketing, of creating your own website homepage, of getting great testimonials as a free gift to her audience, who then joined a funnel which I had an email sequence about other marketing tips. So although I kind of was like, "Oh man, I don't know if I was really helpful to the Goal Digger podcast audience." In the long run, I still get DMs. I mean, my DMs and emails were crazy around that time from that podcast episode, but I still get DMs to this day about that. I still get thank you letters. I have a whole love notes folder dedicated to all the nice things that people say to me just to also be a pick me up.
And that's something I learned from the Goal Digger podcast with Jenna Kutcher. I learned that because she was growing at such a fast pace in her business, she was getting a lot of love, but she was getting a lot of haters too. And she asked her team to protect her from those emails and create a little folder for her in her email inbox that is love notes and great compliments to pick her up.
And I will leave you with that tip. At the end of the day, I would love to read something that just lets me know, "oh my gosh, yes, I'm that girl." I love reading good love notes. At the end of the day, I have my own love notes folder. I encourage you to do the same. And the more that you talk to people, I guarantee you that you will have this love notes folder filled with not just things about you as a business owner, but also you as a person.
I hope this conversation or these words of encouragement about imposter syndrome and creating your ideal day were helpful, please. If you do like this episode, please like, or review, and also send us an email support@heytoriautumn.com with any of your insights or tips or compliments or feedback, till next time.

About Tori Autumn

Tori Autumn is a conversion copywriter committed to helping conscious entrepreneurs grow an impactful business through sharing their heartfelt messaging.

With over 8 years in journalism and persuasive writing, she has worked with many women entrepreneurs to launch, create and sell services via emails, websites, and sales pages-- some resulting in $100K and close to a million-dollar launches, just to name a few!

She has spoken on The Copywriter Club Podcast, the Goal Digger Podcast with Jenna Kutcher, and is a sought-after speaker in private groups on all things copy, marketing, PR outreach, and visibility in business.

On a Living Spree: Achieving Business-Life Balance in the Modern Era is a podcast hosted by Tori Autumn! Every week, Tori brings you an up close and personal look at how successful people balance their business and home lives. You'll hear inspiring stories from top entrepreneurs about their journey to success while learning valuable tips to help you achieve a healthy balance in your life. Feel inspired, get motivated, and be ready to take on the world with new insights from On a Living Spree!

Follow me on Instagram! @heytoriautumn